Should We Live Together?

A girl's next favorite question to the M question is her man asking her "Should We Live Together". It shows her that he sees a future with her in some shape or form. Maybe not quite the fairy tale ending, but it's something to cling onto that marriage is in the not so distant road ahead.

There are many reasons that couples decide to live together. Maybe they met, it was love at first site, they went home together and have been together ever since. Or maybe the boyfriend spends more and more time at his girlfriend’s house, until finally he and his entire wardrobe resides there. Then there are other couples that make the decision to move in after careful consideration of all the pros and cons.

"Having a place to go - is a home. Having someone to love - is a family. Having both - is a blessing." -- Donna Hedges

Should We Live Together? Answers to Your Questions

It’s better to wait until the infatuation has died down a little before renting the U-haul. Putting a little more thought into your decision is a good idea and can help you avoid doing double work of packing up a few days after you just unpacked for the move-in.

If you are moving in together with the hope that it might solve some of your problems of your shaky relationship, it’s probably not a good idea. Only move in together if your relationship is strong, and the benefits will only enhance your already rock solid relationship.

"If We Live Together, What Will My Mom Think?"

There is a greater level of acceptance of cohabitation with the number of couples living together increasing tenfold from 1960 to 2000. However, there may still be disapproval from friends and family. Much of this disapproval has to do with the fact that you are most likely having sex if you are living together. Although your choice on being a virgin or not probably occurred well before the decision to move in together. Now at least 70% of first time brides and 83% of first time grooms are not virgins on their wedding day.

"Will It Help Me Make the Marriage Decision?"

Living together is like a trial marriage. It’s a way to marriage test the waters and make sure that you are truly compatible. Any couple who is truly in love and truly happy with his partner should probably get the answers to their questions fairly quickly. However, if you are still testing the waters a year or two later, then you probably are just postponing the inevitable - dealing with your relationship pitfalls. The majority of cohabitors break up or marry after two years.

"If We Live Together Is It For Convenience?"

It’s cheaper to live together with only one household to finance. So saving money on rent and food costs can be quite tempting. Also, with busy lives, it may be just easier to spend time together when you are living in the same home. In comparing men and women, studies show that women contribute more than 70% of the monies to the cohabiting relationship.

"If I Move in, I Don’t Want to Have to Move Out."

If you are moving in to test drive the relationship, think about it first. Because, just remember, moving out is no fun. First of all, it feels like a divorce. You could call on those friends and family members (that didn’t approve of the move in to begin with), but you may not want to call on them for support. So you might have a few lonely weeks and months ahead of you to lick your wounds feel sorry for yourself.

If We Live Together, Do we Both Have A Common Purpose?"

When you live together, it is far better when couples are on the same page as to the reason they are living together. A woman is more likely to think that cohabiting will lead to a marriage commitment where for man fear of commitment is the issue and there may be no intention of getting married. Discussing the reasons for cohabitation can help avoid potential problems in the future.

If We Live Together is There Any Real Commitment?

The lack of commitment associated with living together can often spill over into marriage. One question you might ask yourselves is why are you agreeing to live together rather than getting marrying? If there are problems in the relationship, an alternative to living together to test drive the relationship is to seek pre-marital counseling. The lack of commitment can actually create stress in a relationship.