Save Marriage or Sabotage It. You Decide.

“There is no remedy for love, except to love more” - Henry David Thoreau

Save marriage, don't sabotage it. It's up to you. Approximately 50% of marriages end in divorce, and 60-80% of second or subsequent marriages end in divorce. If you are unhappy in your marriage, maybe you are thinking about having an affair , or going down the divorce path . Maybe you are cheating on your wife, and you still can't seem to find real fulfillment. Be a real man, change your direction, and try everything you can do to save your marriage and restore love in your life. If you walk away from your problems, you most likely will just face them again with someone else. So take a leap of faith and do everything in your power right now to save your marriage. If it still fails at least you can know in your heart you tried everything. Your goal right now is romancing your wife and getting her to fall in love with you all over again. And if you don’t’ know whether you still love your wife or not, this will help you uncover your innermost feelings for her. Try these ten marriage saving tips to change your life.

Change Yourself - Save Marriage Tip #1

You can’t change her, you can only change yourself. It’s difficult to move away from the negative aspects of your marriage and learn to love and respect each other again. Hopefully through your transformation, love will be restored. But don’t ask or expect changes from her, focus on yourself.

Focus on Her Qualities - Save Marriage Tip #2

First focus on the things about your wife that you fell in love with. Maybe you don’t’ think she is that same woman anymore, but she is! You just need to uncover that beauty in her again. Focus on the positive. If you see yourself thinking about the things about her that annoy you, I want you to acknowledge these negative thoughts, and let it pass. There is a reason you fell in love with your wife, and you made a commitment. It’s only productive to focus on the positive.

Vocalize - Save Marriage Tip #3

Make an attempt to compliment your wife on the things that you fell in love with. “Dinner is delicious”, “Your hair looks pretty today.”, “You are so patient with the kids.”. When you give her a compliment – don’t expect her eyes to light up, with her then running into your arms, professing her undying love to you. This isn’t about making you feel good – it’s about her. It’s taken many months, years for things to get bad between you, it won’t change overnight.

No place for Negative Comments - Save Marriage Tip #4

I want you to repeat in your mind every comment made to your wife – is it negative? If it is, just recognize it and think of another way to say it.

Wrong Way: "The meatloaf's a tad soggy."

Right Way: "Thanks for spending the time making a healthy dinner for me and the kids."

Acts of Service - Save Marriage Tip # 5

Help her any way you can because you love your wife and your marriage is a partnership. Do what you can to help around the house. If she is busy doing laundry, get up and do the laundry with her. Empty the dishwasher if you see it is full of clean dishes. Fold clothes. Help your kids with their homework. If she has been complaining about a broken door handle, fix it. Keep the cars in good working order. Do these things and don’t expect anything in return. Remember this isn’t about you, it is about giving something to her. By the way there is nothing sexier than a man helping around the house. And one last thing, don’t do this for two days, see no results and give up. Make this a part of the new you, change yourself, not her.

Exercise - Save Marriage Tip #6

If you don’t exercise, START! Relieve some tension, clear you mind. And flexing your muscles in front of her can get the two of you laughing like old times.

Quality Time - Save Marriage Tip #7

Spend meaningful time alone together. Be aware of the time you spend with your wife and make the most out of that time. If your schedules are hectic, try identifying the things you do separately, and then try doing them together. For instance, if she makes dinner while you watch tv, turn off the tv, and make dinner together. Listen to what she has to say. If she says her back hurts, you could either say “uh huh” or you could start rubbing her back. If you are really listening, she will know her needs and respond to them. If you can, convince her to take a walk in the park, or have a date night. Take time to talk, communicate. And listen to what she has to say, but don’t try to solve her problems, just listen.

Gifts - Save Marriage Tip #8

Give her token gifts of love. Think about what gift she would like and put a little extra thought into it. Think about all the reasons that you love her and put them in a card.

Touch - Save Marriage Tip # 9

Hold hands, rub her back, kiss her when you see her in the morning and kiss her when you arrive home. If she’s sitting down reading, approach her and stroke and feel her hair. If you sit on separate chairs in the living room, sit next to her and put your arm around her. If the sexual aspect of your marriage is nonexistent, don’t press it. She may question your intentions as if your touch means you want sex. Touch her without expecting sex – remember this takes time.

Stay on the Path - Save Marriage Tip # 10

This may take weeks, months to see results. After some time, if there is something you want from your wife, ask her for it. Be specific about your request and need. If you want to spend some alone time with her, but she keeps giving you excuses, be specific. Tell her you want to take her to dinner Friday night. If you have children, be the one to arrange childcare with a babysitter or friend.

Tip: Counseling marriage professionals are always recommended. Many insurance plans cover some or all of the cost.

Do you suspect your wife is cheating? Find out the signs of a cheating wife.