Breaking Up Life Lesson

Breaking up takes a lot of courage. It may be easier to stay in a lousy relationship than to end it. But once we learn from a relationship, we realize it has run its course, we have to live our lives the best way possible by moving on. Breaking up can be just as hard for the one ending the relationship as the one being left behind. Here are some tips to make the road a little less rough for both of you.

Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together. - Author Unknown

Make the Decision – If you are having trouble making the decision, ask yourself why. Before you met her, were you a happy person? Are your times together more trouble than they are worth? How does this relationship compare to other happier ones you have had in the past? Try even writing down the good and bad aspects of it to help you with your decision. If you have been prolonging breaking up because the future ahead seems too lonely and dismal, dig deep down and find your courage and Just Do It. Yes it isn’t easy, but prolonging a bad relationship is not allowing you to grow as a person. Also, she deserves to find someone else who truly appreciates and loves her.

Communicate – Yes sitting her down and breaking up with her is not going to be easy. Try to think in advance about what you will say to her and anticipate her responses. You do not want to hurt her any more than is necessary. So just let her know that there is nothing wrong with either one of you, you are just not right together.

Follow Through – Sure you are used to her and she is part of your routine. It would be so easy to still hang out with her from time to time. But you are just prolonging the breakup and your time could be better spent doing something else. If she calls and wants to hang out, say no. And resist the temptation to call her and see her. And if you think you have a genuine reason to call her to tell her something important, like you just found her sweater she had been looking for, or you saw a mutual friend of yours at the mall, just DON’T call. It really isn’t necessary. And you could always drop the sweater off at her friend’s house.

Don’t Hold in Your Emotions – Men more often than women have a harder time breaking up and getting over relationships because they don’t allow themselves a chance to grieve a breakup. Our culture tells men “Don’t cry, be tough”. This mentality results in men taking a much longer time getting over a failed relationship than women. So when you have feelings of sorrow, talk freely about them with close friend or family members. However, after a period of time, try not to focus so much on the failed relationship. But rather fill your life with other activities and events to discuss.

Time Heals Pain – Realize that time will heal the pain you are feeling. You will wake up one morning without the sense of dread that she is out of your life. Rather her memory will become fainter and fainter. And after some time, there will be another woman consuming your thoughts. So hold on to this reality even if it isn’t quite here yet.

Don’t Blame Yourself – Don’t feel badly about yourself because you didn’t do enough to save the relationship. It is never easy to hurt someone that we once cared about deeply. Surround yourself with friends that build you up after breaking up and help you with your self esteem.

Realize She Will Find Someone Else – Envision her with another man and accept it, but don’t dwell on it. Jealously and hurt are natural feelings, but again, there will be a time, when it won’t seem so unbelievably painful.

Don’t Act Out in Anger – If at times you are jealous, or angry at the situation, make sure you think before taking action. Being spiteful, spreading rumors, saying hurtful things to mutual friends are all things that you are just doing to try and make yourself feel better. But it will only make you feel worse about yourself.

Move On – Entering the dating scene again may be difficult at first. But it really is healthier to be out there meeting other women and being with your friends rather than sitting at home. So make the effort to get back in the single scene.